As always, I must begin with caveats.
- These are MY two cents. Your comments and opinions are welcome, but please refrain from (1) trying to sway my opinions (just give your own), and (2) being offended that my opinions are what they are. I neither want nor expect anyone to join in my opinion because it's mine. Everyone can make up their own minds. See below.
- This post is not a reaction to any one person or any specific event. It comes on the heels of an event last night, but it is not specifically in response to it.
- If you find the post offensive, please feel free to comment on it, and please include the reasons you believe it to be offensive. Or you may email me and tell me why you think it is offensive. Or you can sit quietly in a dark room being offended and twirling your pendant necklace repeatedly. Just don't go shoot up a post office or something.
When I joined this group on the fledgling web app, I was struck by a number of things. First, everyone seemed to treat everyone else with a certain level of respect. There was good-natured fun, but it was basically respectful. As time passed, more people joined the web app, and we found some who were not as prepared to be respectful towards each other, and we took care of some of them. Amy ("theamy"), for example, started with our group as a critic, and her opinions were eventually accepted by all, because she voiced them in a reasonable and respectful way. (Sorry to single you out Amy, but I hope you recognize that you're a good example.)
When the native app came out, a great number of us immediately found a home in Gingerbread, probably because it was the functional equivalent of the back of the bus, being the last of the locked rooms. The tenor changed somewhat, and my own opinion is that it became more of an adult room. Just about everyone in there was part of the group, so the talk could get a little racy, and nobody was any worse for the wear. The group has now expanded, and as things tend to do, we've begun pushing certain limits. I am not going to rail against that, because I think it corrects for itself. I would just urge those involved to be careful.
Most recently, it has been my experience that the drama that we once railed against has been replaced by a requirement that nobody's feelings ever get hurt. I think the pendulum has swung back too far. I've enjoyed my time in the rooms, and I continue to. I have a tendency to talk less often, but it's mainly because I'm playing and not paying close attention to the chat. Every time I come in, it seems, someone is apologizing for something. Do we need that?
Conflict is a part of life. I'm all for being adult and accepting the consequences of our individual actions. If you offend someone, you probably should apologize...but only if you were wrong. We come from different parts of the country. We, or our ancestors, hailed from different parts of the world. It stands to reason that our feelings and beliefs about things will be different. It also stands to reason that we will disagree. The discourse that comes from that disagreement is a
good thing! It helps to see the other side of the issue, and it also helps others who may be undecided think about the issue and decide where they fall on the spectrum. I have offended pretty much all of my friends at one point or another and, make no mistake, my wife is fearful of being in public with me at least 90% of the time. However, they are still my friends, and she still goes out with me in public, although sometimes in disguise.
Indulge me for an example, and not one from the room. I am a registered Republican. I have voted in every major election since I was old enough to vote. I vote for town council, for state and federal legislatures, and for President. I have voted almost exclusively Republican. I am undecided at this time with regard to the current Presidential election. I think both tickets have pros and cons, and I believe both candidates are basically full of crap with their mandate for change. I am reminded of a political cartoon where George HW Bush and Bill Clinton are standing back to back on the line of moderation and calling each other "Radical". I have expressed these views in certain other chat rooms, and I have been regaled with everything from reasonable discourse to an oddly ironic criticism of being a Communist. But it has assisted me in moving towards a decision (one which I have no plans to share).
I am not espousing that we have lengthy political discussions. Politics and religion are aptly off limits in most general, public discussions. But what I am saying is that we should stop being so afraid of upsetting the participants, offending someone's sensibilities, or crossing one of the other peeps that we are relegated to a group of sniveling drones who do nothing but apologize to each other all day. Offend me. I promise not to take it personally, unless it's a personal attack. Remove the white paint from the walls of the room and let's show each other what we're all about. The color of life is what makes it worth living. We can be nice and pleasant and the Stepford room, or we can be
friends!!!! I choose the latter, and I hope many of you join me.